Who pays for what at a destination wedding?
Guests before the ceremony at a destination wedding at Castello di Ristonchi in Tuscany, Italy.
While you may dream of a destination wedding for reasons like spending more time with your guests, being in a beautiful location and throwing a mutli-day party instead of just a few hours only - no one dreams about having an awkward interaction about who’s paying for what. That’s why it’s best to know some of the etiquette rules behind hosting a destination wedding and lay everything out for your guests upfront.
Being clear and establishing open and honest communication about what things cost is important.
FLIGHTS
By true definition, a destination wedding is somewhere that has special meaning to the bride and groom, or their respective families, but isn’t a place of residence for anyone.
The good news for couples is; when it comes to who pays for guests at a destination wedding, the couple is not responsible to pick up the tab for airfare. Can you imagine trying to coordinate air travel for each individual guest? One thing the couple is responsible for is sending out your save-the-dates earlier than you normally would. This is so helpful as it will give your guests plenty of time to budget and plan their attendance. Not to mention their excitement will grow by the day!
HOTELS AND ACCOMMODATIONS
Some more helpful news for your budget; couples are not expected to pay for accommodation either. It’s generally expected that guests will pay for their lodging costs, since it gives them more flexibility to control spending.
In some cases, a resort or hotel could be all-inclusive (like Castello di Ristonchi) and this will dictate otherwise as a requirement for booking the destination wedding. With a curated estate experience, a single host for the rental of their facilities is required, in which case the couple would pay for guest accommodations. Typically when it is a very small or family-only affair, guests are not expected to pay. If you do want your guests to cover their own accommodation that you’ve already paid for you can set up a PayPal link on your wedding website. (A MUST for a destination wedding!)
Post your schedule and a list of things that you will be covering, then add the price of the accommodation and any additional meals or activities you want to include - but don’t want to cover will cost.
Of course, if you want to go above and beyond, some couples pay for the lodging for their wedding party or immediate family as a gift to those special people in their lives.
TRANSPORTATION
How will guests get around once they get off the airplane? How will they get from the airport to your venue? To the accommodation? The ceremony space? The reception? Back to their hotel after the party? Transportation confusion and costs can really add up. No one should have to worry about driving anywhere after a party and drinks at your wedding. Whether you provide a transfer to and from the venue, or only from it, a minibus or caravan will give everyone the peace of mind they need to relax and dance the night away.
The best solution would be to find a venue that offers everything onsite (like Castello di Ristonchi!). With onsite accommodation for guests as well as multiple activity options and beautiful locations for each part of your wedding weekend event guests will only have to worry (and pay) for transportation to and from one location. Add some info about rental cars and a few transportation company options and your guests can decide the best option for themselves.
FOOD
It’s obvious the couple should cover the cost of food at the reception — but with a destination wedding and so many other meals involved, it may get complicated. It’s best to invite all guests to any welcome activities, rehearsal dinners, and send off brunches when you’re hosting a getaway celebration. While traditionally, only the wedding party and immediate family are invited to some of the before-and-after events, when you’re asking folks to travel near-and-far, this gesture goes a long way in making everyone feel welcome and appreciated. “These group events, all with food involved, will not only allow the couple more bonding time with their guests but it will feed everyone and off-set the guests’ food costs.
What isn’t necessary is to cover your guest’s room service tab or give anyone a dining allowance. Guests should anticipate covering any and all food and beverages beyond the wedding festivities. Any incidental purchases and charges — your groomsmen raid the mini bar, your cousin purchases 50 ice creams for her kids — those charges should be passed along to your guests. At Castello di Ristonchi each guest receives their own tab and can easily add anything they desire during their stay. At check-out time they pay the total.
GIFTS
Another part of destination weddings that many guests and engaged couples may be unsure about are gifts. Most of the time, a registry is an expected part of the budget that attendees must consider when saying ‘yes’ to the big day. Even when a an invited guest declines or simply can’t attend many will still send a gift from the registry. However most of the time, a gift isn’t required or expected for a destination wedding. The time and monetary investment of attending a destination wedding is typically fairly generous and gifts are not necessary.